Did you develop up smooshing your Barbies’ non-existent vulvas collectively? Their plastic limbs akimbo in a sapphic embrace as Ken lay dejected within the toy field? Properly, congrats, you’re in all probability queer now — and also you’re additionally in all probability greater than a bit of interested in scissoring.
And it looks like you’re not alone, the official stats launched in Pornhub’s 2022 12 months in evaluation reveal that “Lesbian Scissoring” searches grew over 151 p.c worldwide final 12 months, with girls being over 155 p.c extra into “scissoring” searches than males.
Fortunately, we’ve received you: Right here’s our knowledgeable information on one of many usually misunderstood intercourse act and how you can scissor.
What’s scissoring?
Scissoring, also called tribbing, is primarily outlined as a intercourse place between two individuals with vulvas, the place they obtain sexual stimulation by rubbing their vulvas collectively. Nonetheless, the time period is usually utilized to explain different types of primarily non-penetrative exercise.
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Typically, individuals affiliate scissoring with vulva-on-vulva contact. Tribbing is used to explain this, too, and can also be used to point when somebody grinds a vulva on a accomplice’s physique half for causes of sexual gratification. “It’s common to make use of the time period tribbing to incorporate greater than vulva-to-vulva rubbing akin to vulva-to-thigh or vulva-to-foot,” explains Dr. Michele O’Mara(Opens in a brand new window), a relationship coach focussing on lesbian relationships.
Nonetheless, if we’re going to get into semantics, this isn’t fairly the best phrase. “A extra correct time period for that is frottage, from the french phrase frot, which implies to rub. Frottage is the rubbing collectively of two our bodies for non-penetrative intercourse,” says O’Mare. Frotting, nevertheless, is a phrase primarily related to homosexual male subculture and sexual practices: usually non-penetrative penis-to-penis rubbing.
Okay, complicated. But it surely doesn’t essentially matter what issues within the bed room are referred to as, so long as you and any sexual companions have a transparent, shared and consensual understanding of no matter you’d wish to attempt. For those who’re not significantly good with phrases, or have totally different concepts of what they imply, simply describe no matter place or exercise you’d wish to rise up into.
How do you scissor?
One of the crucial frequent interpretations of tribadism or tribbing is principally as a sort of dry-humping, however with out garments. So if you happen to’ve ever tried TikTok’s notorious knee transfer(Opens in a brand new window) (the place you progress your knee to use strain to a accomplice’s clitoris throughout a fully-clothed makeout sesh) you simply must do that — however minus the garments and up the depth.
However once we discuss “scissoring” we think about one thing a bit extra particular, proper? Proper. Particularly, it conjures a imaginative and prescient of two individuals with their legs unfold aside (mimicking the blades of a pair of scissors) rubbing their vulvas collectively.
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Until you occur to be fairly superior in gymnastics, you would possibly discover that this requires a little bit of wriggling and repositioning — so keep in-tune with what your physique is telling you. “The aim is to get your vulva in touch along with your accomplice’s vulva in essentially the most snug place attainable,” reminds O’Mara. “Consolation is the tough half. If in case you have points with flexibility chances are you’ll expertise extra ache than pleasure relating to scissoring.” On condition that scissoring is usually a fairly vigorous exercise, you would possibly at all times wish to stretch beforehand if you wish to minimise the potential for any sex-related accidents — significantly focussing on the legs, groin and internal thighs.
For those who plan on sticking to scissoring or tribbing for a long-haul sesh, it’s necessary to make use of some lubricant for additional glide. “This can be a friction-based exercise and friction is far nicer with lube and counting on pure lubricant means that you’re much less more likely to have a good time — a lot of lube is what makes for the very best stimulation,” explains scientific psychologist and intercourse/intimacy coach Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey.
Bisbey additionally notes that you simply would possibly wish to add additional stimulation within the type of intercourse toys if you wish to take issues up a notch. “If you’re doing this vulva-to-vulva you’ll be able to add a clitoral vibrator in between to extend the sensations.”
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Are STIs nonetheless a danger with scissoring?
As with all types of sexual contact, it pays to play secure relating to tribbing.
You would possibly suppose that, as a primarily non-penetrative sexual exercise, scissoring gained’t result in the transmission of STIs. Nonetheless, that’s not fairly the case — particularly if direct, genital-to-genital contact is concerned. “You danger publicity to STIs akin to herpes, genital warts, and HPV, or different infections that may be handed by way of a vaginal fluid, akin to chlamydia and gonorrhoea,” says O’Mara.
Nonetheless, because of the friction factor of the observe and the very fact it’s primarily related to individuals who have vulvas, conventional safer intercourse limitations may not work. Typically, condoms are used on penises and strap-ons throughout penetrative intercourse or oral intercourse, latex, or nitrile gloves are used for safer fingering and dental dams (latex or polyurethane sheets) are positioned over the vulva throughout cunnilingus. However scissoring precludes using any of those — with the most definitely of those choices, dental dams, unlikely to remain in place throughout a bout of vigorous scissoring.
This is among the the explanation why it’s so important to attend common sexual well being checkups and to share this data along with your companions, so that everybody could make knowledgeable choices about their sexual well being. “It’s arduous to make a barrier methodology of safety work with tribbing so you will need to be updated in your STI testing and to frequently share this with companions,” says Bisbey. “Abstain if in case you have any indicators of energetic outbreaks.”
Do lesbians actually scissor?
Scissoring is one thing of a, shall we embrace, “controversial” exercise inside the lesbian group. That’s as a result of it’s just about synonymous with lesbianism in accordance with the straight creativeness — and a outstanding function in mainstream lesbian porn. However ask some individuals of the sapphic persuasion themselves, they usually’re more likely to refute these presumptions, roll their eyes and mutter that scissoring is merely simply not attainable.
The truth, nevertheless, is that lesbians and different queer individuals do in reality get all the way down to some scissoring now and again — a 2015 Autostraddle survey(Opens in a brand new window) even prompt that 40 p.c of WLW (girls who love girls) accomplish that frequently. A survey(Opens in a brand new window) carried out independently by O’Mara prompt that the determine is decrease, and rests at 33 p.c.
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Whereas the quantity of individuals scissoring or tribbing is unclear, it nonetheless does appear to be a reasonably frequent exercise amongst lesbians and queer girls. However as Bisbey factors out, “Anybody can have interaction in tribbing — not simply lesbians.”
Whereas the time period might primarily be related to the sapphic contingent, anybody who’s interested in attempting non-penetrative, erotic rubbing can chat with their sexual accomplice about it and provides it a attempt. If everybody’s on board and obligatory precautions are taken, there’s nothing to lose!
Scissoring intercourse positions
For those who’re struggling on how you can get began, it could assist to get some concrete clues about how you can strategy scissoring. Fortunately, O’Mara is available — and brings along with her years of expertise within the realm of sapphic intimacy.
“Maybe the least difficult place is for every individual to lie on their again, one accomplice laying with their head on the head of the mattress, and the opposite with their head on the foot of the mattress,” she explains. “Then, every accomplice will transfer the leg closest to the opposite, with one accomplice lifting their leg into the air whereas the opposite accomplice strikes their leg below the lifted leg.”
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As soon as in place, it is a case of shifting in nearer and beginning the rub-a-dub-dub. “Now, their our bodies are interlocking, every with one leg resting throughout the opposite’s physique and their vulvae are ready to attach. From right here, each companions scoot towards the opposite till their vulvas make contact,” she says. “If attainable, they’ll seize each other’s arms for leverage. On this place, every accomplice— or considered one of them, if just one has the physique power or mobility — can start rubbing themself towards the opposite.”
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This place, with one accomplice in between the legs of the opposite, may be known as missionary scissoring and sometimes permits each people to maneuver their hips and groin. Nonetheless, there are numerous alternate options to the method described by O’Mara. You would possibly discover it simpler to interlock legs if one accomplice is sitting on their facet, for instance, whereas the opposite is on their again. Or perhaps you’ll desire if one individual is sitting upright with their legs unfold — after which the opposite accomplice matches between their legs.
Nonetheless, it’s necessary to notice that scissoring may not be achievable to all because of the stretching and frequent actions concerned and will make some individuals really feel uncomfortable. If so, it could be higher to deal with vulva-to-thigh, abdomen or bum contact.
And for these with extra restricted mobility, Bisbey has some parting recommendation. “Individuals who have lowered mobility might discover that supportive pillows and cushions make scissoring simpler,” she explains. “Various physique positions ceaselessly, so joints don’t stiffen up, may assist.”
So there you will have it: will scissoring make the lower in your intercourse life?
